If I asked you what your dream day or dream life looks like, I am sure you could give me a pretty clear picture of it.
You would probably describe it beautifully and enthusiastically, and your energy in doing so would be bubbly and engaging.
But how about if I asked you how to make that dream come alive?
You would probably not have a very clear idea, you would start stammering and giving me ‘if’s’ and ‘but’s’, ‘ums’ and ‘ers’.
In any case, the energy around your words would be much more dense and sticky.
Why is that?
Because once you think about the how’s, you see the obstacles and the difficulties which, let’s face it, are part of reality.
Even in Disney films the hero faces challenges before the happy ending.
When you start thinking about the practicalities of making your dreams come true, the doubts and fears come creeping in, and they come in the form of…
Those annoying voices that don’t shut up and keep telling us why we shouldn’t do things.
They have a list of convincing reasons as to why we should stay where we are.
It’s all about keeping us safe in our comfort zone.
Cosy in our pj’s and slippers.
They are annoyingly convincing and have a knack of preventing us from starting anything new and uncertain.
They don’t like the unknown.
How do you recognise it?
When you are resisting something.
When you are full of reasons (excuses) as to why not to do something.
When you stop. Like a rabbit in headlights.
When you have a ‘it’s not the right time for me to do that now’ or ‘I will do that when…’ kind of conversation with yourself or others.
Why do we listen to it?
We stop moving forwards because it seems that everything is too hard to do.
It’s tough when you realise that things don’t happen as you had hoped they would.
It brings a heaviness and sinking feeling.
Our energy is heavy and we feel drained and defeated even before we have begun.
But the thing is, this is actually when you need to start ramping it up.
Just like a rocket being launched, this is when you need the most energy to take your idea off the ground.
It doesn’t have to be hard.
That doesn’t mean you can just lie back and watch it happen.
You still need to take action.
But the right kind of action.
The one that flows.
But you will only flow if you relax and listen to yourself rather than your mind chatter.
Don’t question yourself so much.
You need to be ok with being uncomfortable.
It won’t always be that way. But you need to go through it.
The magic will happen when you go through it.
If you turn back now you will never experience it and you will probably always live with a feeling of ‘what if?’
I know I would rather have a life of ‘oh well’s’ than ‘what if’s’.
It is self criticism that keeps us in a doubt-worry-doubt cycle.
And it always pops us when we want to change something we are used to.
It’s survival instinct. Mind chatter doesn’t like change. It resists it like mad. It’s averse to risk. It doesn’t like the unknown.
So what should you do about it?
Just notice that your mind chatter is there.
But that’s it.
Don’t try to fight it. Don’t try to argue with it, as it will only make it louder.
The fears and anxiety will be there (in the form of noisy mind chatter) between your ideas and making them happen.
Now about the hard part…
The thing is that deep down you probably believe that you have to do things on your own and that you should not rely on other people’s support.
Asking for help is a weakness and means you are vulnerable.
Doing things alone is draining.
It has a very negative effect on your energy.
Your fears take up a whole load of your energy, whereas you could be focusing that energy on making what you want to happen happen.
When you are putting all your energy into trying to get rid of your fears rather than on materialising your dreams, then life does feel hard.
When you’re stuck in your comfort zone, life becomes stagnant and therefore very uncomfortable.
Having an ‘easy life’ includes the experience of discomfort.
Life becomes difficult when we try to avoid pain or discomfort that is just part of the process.
The key to easy life is to learn to use fear and discomfort as teachers.
Stop fighting and resisting them.
Know that they are part of it, but won’t last forever.
Sit through the discomfort and fears.
Start using your energy in the right way: shift your attention away from your mind chatter and focus on your dreams.