My father’s nickname in the navy was “Speedy Gonzales’.
Because he is always dashing everywhere.
Always in a rush.
Very keen and eager.
Always arrives ahead of time.
Paces up and down if he is waiting for someone or something.
Like a phone call.
If I tell him I will call him back he always asks me “at what time?”.
He hates surprises.
He likes to know.
He loves to plan.
And then there was me.
As a child I always did things at a painfully slow pace.
I was meticulous.
I wanted to get everything ‘just right.’
So I took forever to do things.
I was very determined.
I wanted to do it on my own. Without help.
I remember learning how to tie up my laces. I would try and try again. Shooing away helpful hands. I wanted to do it myself.
I was very patient.
Or you can call it stubborn.
My mother understood that and just allowed me to be like I was.
But it sort of used to drive my father up the wall.
I remember I was even slow at eating an ice cream.
It used to trickle down the cone, down my hands and arms, all over my clothes.
And my father would get so upset seeing this that he would leave me there with my sister, at the ice cream shop (no way would that happen today, 2 children left alone) while he went off for a walk with my mother so he wouldn’t have to witness the scene of my ice cream getting everywhere as I licked it once every 15 seconds as i gazed around me. Making the most of each mouthful. Enjoying it. I didn’t mind one bit. I’m sure my sister didn’t either and probably helped me. She always helped me.
The point of this story is that I must have understood that it wasn’t right to be ‘slow’.
That I should speed up.
That doing things quickly was the right way.
So I did.
Somewhere along the line as I grew up, went through school, university and entered the working world I changed and sped up.
I sped up.
But I didn’t do this at a conscious level at all.
In fact I only realised a couple of years ago that I must have done that and that my true nature was to do things calmly and carefully.
After leaving the corporate world and having the privilege to reconnect with whom I truly am, I have realised that doing things slowly is my natural rhythm.
And that I had moved away from it.
I suppose on a subconscious level I thought ‘that was what I should do.’
So along I used to whizz.
Speedy as I walked.
Almost running everywhere.
Can you see whom I was mirroring without even realising it?
That’s right, Speedy Gonzales, aka, my father who I looked up to as a role model. The efficient successful loving father.
The thing is everyone who has only known me as an adult can’t really see that this is actually the real me.
Because I strayed away from my true nature.
Without knowing it.
Without realising it.
I only slowed down once I started my coaching journey and self-discovery.
Again, not with the intent of doing so, but I have thankfully learnt what my natural rhythm is.
And it makes things so much easier.
Because I am in my natural flow.
I don’t like being rushed.
I hate doing things in a rush.
I hate being late so will always allow time buffers so that i don’t feel rushed. I’m great at time management and never miss a deadline.
I like to take everything in slowly and calmly.
Rushing around stresses me out.
Being late stresses me out (I wonder why?)
But my natural rhythm is slow.
And I embrace it.
You see as a child, without knowing it I took on one of my father’s beliefs: “I need to be quick and efficient.”
And it stayed with me in my energy field as a block, because it wasn’t part of who I truly was.
So whatever your rhythm is, find it and follow it.
There really is no right or wrong.
There is only what is right for us.