I have had my own business for 4 years now, and it’s taken me almost this long to really step into my power and OWN it.
And by that I mean stand up for what is right for me and stop allowing myself to go after shiny objects because of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) on some juicy must-know-this-to-succeed information.
I almost cringe to think about how long this has dragged on for, how many programmes and things I have signed up for, to never even open or watch.
Because it reassured me to have them ‘just in case’.
I’m not saying I haven’t learnt things I wasn’t an expert in, or that all of them were a waste of money, but what I can see clearly now is that I was buying them for the wrong reasons.
I was making a decision based on FEAR.
And any decision made out of fear (of some outcome happening / not happening) is not the best decision to make.
So how do we know if a decision is a fear-based one?
Well this is how I can recognise mine:
- When it’s a quick fix.
- When I act almost out of impulse (because it makes me feel better in that moment, but the niggling feeling comes back later).
- When it’s easier than the other decision (because the other decision means I have to face something which makes me feel uncomfortable).
- When my gut feeling is saying something different, but I choose to ignore it.
- When it feels almost compulsive, like “I have to have it”.
- When my inner critic is having a party, telling me something along the lines of “if you don’t do this, then xxx (list of negative things / situations that might happen).”
What can we do about it? How can we avoid it?
The only way to be sure you aren’t making a decision out of fear is when you know yourself really well to the point that you can be truly honest with yourself about your reasons.
When we are feeling fully aligned, we can recognise fear more easily.
Because we know what right and wrong feels like to us.
So when you are faced with a dilemma, take a moment to centre and ground yourself (meaning to focus on the here and now) and ask yourself what impact that decision brings to you.
How does choosing / deciding XYZ make you feel vs. not choosing XYZ.
And then dig deeper.
Always coming back to the feeling, the emotion.
And if at any point it resembles ‘fear’ of something “if I don’t do this then blablabla”,which will almost seem like a threat, then you are up against a fear and it’s probably what you think you want, but it isn’t really what you need.
Getting to know what that feels like for you, will help you when you find yourself up against another tough decision in the future.
Getting to know yourself and what is right for you is probably the most powerful tool you can give yourself.
So why wouldn’t you?